One of the things that I love about hanging out in gay bars is some of the extraordinary people that you meet in them.
Last night, whilst indulging in my CTM (Coke, Tia Maria and Malibu) in The Sea View (where all the rough gays in Birchington gather), I was approached by a darkly handsome, lean and muscular fella called Dave.
Dave, who's a travelling double glazing rep., suffers the most hideous halitosis that I've ever encountered outside of an entire biker convention. Every time he spoke, I thought I was going to vomit and how he ever manages to sell windows to people, Freddie Mercury alone knows!
They're probably happy to just sign up and get rid of him.
But he had an unusual claim to fame, insofar as his ability to light his burps. And trust me, it was quite a thing to behold! He went on to explain that years of hot curries and gay love (not a pleasant combination in my book) had messed his insides up, and left him with a unique way of lighting peoples' cigarettes for them.
Very impressive indeed.
Needless to say, I went home on my own!
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4 comments:
I fear you're spending too much time on your own Justin, and need to stop deluding yourself about the number of gay bars in Birchington.
Sorry, sweetie, but they're not bars for the boys.
Thanet is a complete pink desert, and the wider East kent is not much better, with only a couple of questionably mixed haunts in Canterbury.
You really must go up to Medway to The Ship, or even on to town where the choices are of course virtually unlimited.
What Birchington dear? How very dare you....
I fear, anonymous, that you may be limiting your options a tad too much.
If you're just taking into account the 'outs' that freely declare an inclination towards same-sex partners, then you, perhaps, need to start looking a little further afield.
I'd say that a good 20% of my partners are married men and a further 30% are those that like the best of both Worlds.
Oh yes indeed, Birchington is quite the Hatters' Haven!
Personally, Justin, I find sufficient people of interest amongst those who freely declare themselves to be same sex devotees, but realise the "field" is very much wider than that.
Still surprised though that you have found so many guys willing to play ball locally. You must have much more pulling power than I do!
I've found that modelling my image on a cross between Ali G styling and the 'classic' North London, ignorant, bone-headed dweeb, helps enormously.
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