Friday, 28 September 2007

Candida CAMRA.

Following the enormous success of our inaugral beer festival, here in Birchington on 14th April, I figured that we'd gained enough experience to be able to help that 'Thanet CAMRA lot' to see where they went wrong with theirs, the week previously.

That's just the kind of helpful soul that I am!

So, after a bit of research and a bit of 'being fobbed off', I finally managed to get hold of the chap that calls all the shots, as far as their beer festival is concerned.
My kind offer of help, by pointing out some of the things that were missing from their festival, such as karaoke, cribbage and the sale of home-made, iced buns, was met with an extraordinary tirade of abuse. And very shortly into this assault, it dawned on me that my protagonist was none other than 'Father Ted' from oop North. The nice chap that necessitated intervention by the police, at our festival.

What ever happened to the beardy weirdy, pipe smoking, chunky knit jumpered, beer pacifist CAMRA stereotype of yesteryear?

Thursday, 20 September 2007

The Sultan Of Saltaire.

It's my dream to, one day, have visited the Gay Capital of every County in England. So, with that thought niggling in my mind, I decided to take Clarence, AKA 'Love' (pronounced 'Loöv'), a good chum of mine, up on his offer of a visit to his home in Bradford.
What a beautiful place he lives in!
He's actually in Saltaire, a NW suburb of Bradford (pronounced 'Bratfart'), and that place is just bumfun central.
Seriously, here's what saturday night looks like from Clarence's balcony., looking back into his flat, that is!

Gosh, if the standard of living were acceptable to a normal human being and the indiginous populace weren't so 'pig ignorant', I think I'd like to go and live there.

Friday, 14 September 2007

Lost Boys.

Unfortunately for myself (and probably everyone else), I have the hardest time blogging unless I'm either drunk or hungover. It just doesn't work for me, otherwise!
So, after being invited to friends' last night and drinking a couple of bottles of wine, a few G&Ts and some grappa, I find myself fit-to-blog for the first time since fags were banned from pubs.
I must say I think it's pretty unfair that the government has been allowed to target homosexuals in this way but, when you think about it, this sort of thing has gone on since time immoral, hasn't it!

Who will be next, I wonder? One would hope that it'll be taxi drivers being banned from the road or old people being barred from post offices but, thinking about it, that'd be far too sensible a thing to do!

Nope, I've a feeling it's going to be trannies being ejected from church. Who would take communion, then?