Tuesday, 30 January 2007

B.I.B.L.E. Basher.

Met up with an old, old friend last night, Basher, who I haven't seen for absolutely ages! He's a lovely fella, tall, dark, handsome (unusual for someone in his line of work), witty, astonishingly clever and, rather unfortunately (for me), as straight as anyone could possibly be.
But he always has a story to tell and what he told me last night scared the Hell out of me!
Basher works in a laboratory, for an organization called the British Institute of Bio-Lateral Engineering (B.I.B.L.E.), where, it seems, they've been harbouring a dark secret for many years, now.
Quite some time ago, they discovered the existence of a chemical so lethal and in such abundance on our planet that they had little choice but to keep quiet about it, to avoid the mass panic and hysteria that would ensue awareness of it. In the meantime, he and his team have had to watch on, impotently, while people have died in their thousands as a direct, or indirect, result of contact with this chemical. He told me about this last night, I believe, just to get it off his chest but, I'm sorry Basher, I think people have the right to know, especially as particularly strong concentrations of it can be found right here, around Thanet!

It's called di-hydrogen monoxide and here's a few examples of what it's capable of.

1. It causes almost immediate death by inhalation.

2. In it's gaseous state, it will cause severe burns to living tissue.

3. In larger quantities (which, apparently, is not uncommon) it has been responsible for the majority of environmental degradation, throughout Earth's history.

4. On a few occasions in the past, when one or two other freak conditions coincide, this chemical has wiped out entire civilisations in a matter of minutes.

5. Even in it's frozen state, it is still not safe and has caused countless deaths, throughout Human history.

After a small, practical demonstration, I could clearly see that Basher was neither lying nor exaggerating about any of this!

Scary stuff, eh?

ps. If anyone owns, or knows someone that owns, a hamster that has just given birth to a litter, could they let me know please, as I now need a new one! Thanks.


Dr. Bob said...

Try harder. If hard keep trying.


Lucy Mail said...

I think that Justin's synopsis is, perhaps, a little easier to follow. And if, in fact, one can count 'making things easier' as trying harder to attain, then I'd say he was making a sterling effort!

Anonymous said...

Are you talking about water?