I don't know, exactly, how it works for you guys that are under the impression that you're straight, but whenever I'm in a public urinal, I do like to have a little peek at the equipment being used next-door. Just out of curiosity, you understand!
Just as well that I did, last night, in the Sea View's toilet. The chappie parked next to me had an impressive array of jewellery adorning his manhood and, when he started to 'go', the thing went off like a garden sprinkler, an effect akin to hitting the bottom of the drop on a log flume! I just about managed to jump out of the way in time.
He also had a pair of light, beige trousers on which, by the time he'd done, looked very similar to fake leopard skin.
I scrubbed him off my list straight away as, perhaps, a bit too much of a liability!