Frocking Hell.

Getting undressed in a bit of a hurry, last night, after pulling this really scrummy hunk outside Sommerfield, I almost lost my will to live.
Wearing one of my prettier dresses, pink and grey with a very tight pencil skirt to it, I threw caution to the wind and attempted to remove the thing in one swift motion, up over my body and head, the elasticated hem grabbing hold of 'Roger Bannister Rail' in it's rocket-like launch skywards.
With a tear in two of my eyes and a tear in the other, I ended up heading off towards QEQM for damage assessment and hopefully repair.
Much as I like the nurses there, though, they sometimes jump to conclusions without even a hint of background research and, as I was advised by a Florence that I'd encountered before, "If you're not careful Justin, you're going to break that Hoover."

Honestly!

Had she asked first, I could have told her that it hasn't worked for months.